Friday, January 30, 2009

Paths to Awakening: Part Two

It was a tremendous unburdening to accept that I no longer needed to use judgment as the way to play out my role in The Magical Theatre. Further more, as I looked back over my life, I saw how the “unfair" world of my “reality” had simply reflected my beliefs back to me, not created them. As my perception changed, so did my experience of the world around me. I came to understand that the secret to my happiness had been attached to my perceptions all along. In other words, if I thought of myself as a victim when I was having a “bad” experience, I would be miserable. I came to understand my perception arose out of my unaware habits instead of my conscious choice. When I was able to simply observe my circumstances, I could also see my choices. I could then choose not to suffer; I could choose to use my experiences as opportunities to learn and I could choose to accept myself even if I made mistakes.

Importantly, as I made new conscious choices, I was still “me.” I had not become a parody of a boring saint in white robes. I still had my big personality, big earrings and big hair! But instead of rejecting myself because of who I thought I should be, instead, I accepted the truth of who I really was behind the image.

After a long and difficult journey, I did finally come to peaceful terms with my destiny. By eliminating my need to feel superior to the truth of who I feared I was/was not, I reached a d├ętente in my war with judgment. I came to know the greater truth about myself and I was set free from my victimhood. And, perhaps more importantly, when it became OK to be me, it naturally followed that everyone and everything else was OK too.

Through acceptance I finally came to know love and it didn’t look at all like I had expected! The quality of love in this context was a radical departure from the conditional love I had known. To experience this love did not require a stimulus of “loveable attributes” or “lovable actions” occurring outside myself; in fact, this love without conditions required nothing more than my own willingness to simply allow everything to be exactly as it was.

Through the great clarity of hindsight I saw that there were a great many things I had misunderstood about my role in this grand passion play of the The Magical Theatre. I’d forgotten that I was not just the lead actor but also the playwright of my own dramatic production. Because of this, I had narrowly interpreted the fantasy, and created a life directed by fear and choreographed by the voices in my head.

Those voices, my supporting cast and critics, had been so influential that they had helped me create a myth about everything and everyone in my life. Everyone does this, but hardly anyone calls it by its proper name, “projection.” Without awareness of the truth, I got into the habit of blaming others for my pain. Casting responsibility for my painful emotions onto others gave me the false impression of relief, but I remained blind and not in charge. I was sitting under a spotlight in the middle of all Creation with my eyes tightly shut.

You too may be sitting in the middle of the stage with your eyes closed but, I have no way of knowing where you are in your circumstances, or the degree to which you have unwittingly embraced your role in Maya’s Magical Theatre. If you have already figured out that everything you have purchased, every relationship you have pursued, every obstacle you have avoided, and every attempt you have made to find happiness from a source outside of yourself has failed, you are on the right track… but I am getting ahead of myself. To really unveil how the Magical Theatre is constructed and to learn how we’ve come to assume our roles in it, I must begin in the place of beginnings... DEFINITIONS: OLD WORDS NEW CONCEPTS

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